At WSU, there is a rather mad scientist by the name of Howard Hosick
(his name has been changed to protect the guilty).  For years he has 
performed genetic experiments on the most intelligent life forms on the 
planet.  Yes, you guessed it:  he has be genetically altering White Mice.  
His labs are quite secure so no HLF field operative has been able to 
disturb his work.  Until recently. 
 
    In 1969, Dr. Hosick recieved a gag gift from a friend--a can of 
condensed milk with a joke label on it.  It is unknown what was on the 
label, but it apparently cracked the great Doctor up to no end.  Thus, the
can was given a place of honor on the Doctor's shelf in his office next to 
his awards and degrees that he earned by testing various chemicals on 
the White Mice that were assigned to study Earth.  In the summer of 1999 (30 
years later for the mathematically challenged), the great HLF agent King of 
Suede was given a tour of the Doctor's facilities.  The King was 
constantly watched, so any sabotage or any other operation was out of the 
question.  In fact, he wasn't even allowed to touch anything (you know how 
campus security can get).  When the King was finally in the Doc's office to 
discuss his vile work, he spied the can of condensed milk. The King 
cassually picked it up and played with it as he talked to the doctor, 
shanking the can several times for good measure.  After the interview was 
over, the King returned the can to its place on the shelf in between the 
letter from the President congratulating the Doctor for his work and the 
picture  of the Doctor with the Nobel Prize winners in Stockholm in 1972.

    Last week, a strange report came out from WSU.  Dr. Hosick entered his 
office to find the room was covered in a stinky green slime.  All of 
the objects on his shelves had been blown across the room, and a burst can 
of 30 year old condensed milk lay on his desk.

    Was this due to the King?  Unclear, as he takes no credit.  But it just 
goes to show you that the HLF can get you even if we don't see you.
 
    Power to the White Mice.