gair wrote: You can tell me: You're a god, right? You're just waiting for the interior decorators to finish their revamping of Olympus and then you'll be ascending. Of this, I am quite sure. Thank you, oh, thank you for sharing your unique vision with us poor, mere mortals. And, please--when you return to your abode in the sky and throw off the image of humanity you have assumed so as to walk among us, remember those of us who know and revere you for what you truly are. Yours, gair PS--I saw that you invite us to link to your site. I shall do so within the next week. If you would deign to visit my site at http://home.earthlink.net/~gbohon/ I could die a happy man. Thank you. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Steve Kremer wrote: Gair, Thanks for your nice note. I have been called a lot of four letter words but never that three letter one. I visited your page and was struck by this statement at the bottom of your index page: (Hey--I just wanted to see how a table worked. . . !) I too once did not know how a table worked. I used to eat each meal delicately balancing my food in my lap. The plate, napkin, and silverware were never a problem. I found that keeping a full glass of milk sitting on my knee was a challenging proposition. After literally crying over the spilled contents one to many times I thought that there had to be a better way. Once while dining with friends one of them made a suggestion that would change my life. I was having a difficult time enjoying my soup course as the bowl sat in my lap and I tried desperately to balance a thin stemmed wine glass on my knee. After spilling some of the scalding hot soup on my leg one of my friends said: "Steve, why don't you see how a table works." It all of a sudden struck me just like a salad bowl hitting the floor. Put my meals on the table, and eat them while they are on the table, and I won't spill anything! I had always noticed that almost everyone else I knew had obviously already figured out how this table thing works. So I went ahead and tried the table and you know what, it worked wonderfully. So I was so glad to read on your Web page that you too have found out how a table works. I commend your work in spreading the "table" gospel by putting that statement on your site. I hope more people discover how the table works and someday we can rid the world of spilled food by having all meals on the table. Regards, Steve Windows 95 & Mac Joke Wallpaper http://www.jokewallpaper.com E-Mail: steve@jokewallpaper.com Phone: 317-574-4998 Now available at two URLs, same humor at both: If you are accessing the web from home, or your boss doesn't care that you surf the web from work.. http://www.jokewallpaper.com If your company frowns on surfing the Web during work hours and might log where you visit... http://www.corporate-excellence.com Same humor content with a corporate friendly URL. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= gair replied: Thank you, thank you for the visit and the kind words. Yes, I am truly proud of my new-found ability to use a table; it was, indeed, a concept that escaped me for decades and I am now proud to announce to the entire world my conversion in the hope that I can encourage others to come out of the closet (or wherever they may be consuming their meals) and join us at the table of table-users. My conversion, though, is a strange tale. It began on a Cub Scout camping trip when the leader called me into his tent. I went, being a brave, dutiful scout, and once I was in there he showed me several pictures of two men--two men who were using a table. I was intrigued and, yes, a little excited by the idea that people could do that sort of thing. Then my pack leader reached under his sleeping bag and brought out a folding table; we used it right then and there. It was exhilarating and my life was never the same again. Thank you for allowing me to share this tale. In fact, I feel like using a table right now. If you will excuse me, please. . . . --gair