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And so we continue. Visit Fan Mail Page 1-2-3-4-5-6 Nathan Ryle-Musgrove wrote (11/99): You are the most pathetic
individuals i know, for christ sake we are at the And my response was (with quotations from his note): >You are the most pathetic individuals i know, Do I know you? >for christ sake we are at the top of the food chain Well, some of us are; the jury is still out on you. >your pathetic if it was within my power i would haveall u animal freaks killed, Oh? Do tell! >i like a bit of meat now and
again i dont care what pain the animals went I prefer mine cooked well done, thank you. >i will leave you now Promises, promises. . . . >and just to let you know
i will Again, so many promises, so few Nathan Ryle-Musgroves stepping in front of buses. . . . >And if i ever get to c u in
real life i will Hey! What's that sound? <WHOOOOOOOOOSH!> (It's the sound of my site going WAY over your head.) Thank you for the laughs; it's good to know there are still people out there with fewer brain cells than toes (even with your inbred 11th toe). Have a nice life; if you don't like the site, don't visit. Now, to prove how adult he is, Nathan decides to respond with the following (I've **'d the bad words, just so we maintain our PG-13 rating): >WHAT THE F**K HAVE YOU SENT ME
THIS FOR D**K HEAD I AM NO F**KING VEGY YOU My response to this slobbering rant: Oh! You are so amusing! How old are you--8? Look, I'll be nice and explain something to you just so you don't keep making such a fool of yourself: We are satire (look it up in the dictionary if you don't know the definition). You obviously didn't read much of the site (which is why I said it went WAY over your head) or you would have been able to tell. Or maybe it's beyond your ability for comprehension--don't feel embarrassed if it is. I'm glad you like Big Macs; I prefer a Whopper myself, but hey--that's a personal preference. Now, go back and play with your crayons. (And, no, this isn't Stu.)* *Explanation: He sent me another email just after the cursing one asking if I was his friend, Stu. What an idiot--he wrote to me first! M. Ortmann wrote (12/99): I am in awe..you were really with Che Hamstera in Seattle...what a rush... I was glued to the TV , watching as this whole thing unfolded, and was so glad to have first-hand reports to read on the HLF site.. We will go ever onward in our serch for rodent rights. Good work.... M.Ortmann Thank you for your kind words; we were pleased to have our message seen & heard, even if the media chose to ignore us. Viva les rodents! Branden Root wrote (12/99): I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT. Soon after seeing the picture of the true leader of the people, Che Hamstera, I made 20 copies of the graphic (that was ok, wasn't it?) and taped them all over my local big brother penal re-education institution, which happens to be cleverly disguised as a High School. I have already applied to the HLF this very hour, but please, what more can I do? I am in the southern area of America, known as "Oklahoma" and here rodents are a scourge to be stamped out! This I know must be stopped, but I lack the guile and leadership to do it. Please Help. It is fine that you took our picture and put them up around campus; free publicity is always fun. Do not despair; even if you are not voted in as a member of the HLF (our members are pretty harsh these days), you can still do your part to support the rights of rodents in your area. VIVA LES HAMSTERS! And thanks for your continued interest. Christina Ann Petrucci wrote upon receiving notification that her application was not accepted by our voting membership (12/99): --i spit on your organization, patooey! Apparently, our members foretold your patooishness. Thank you for your editorial comments; we will certainly take them under advisement. Her reply: I'm sorry, perhaps I was too harsh with my remark.....on second thought, nah! patooey! patooey! patooey! I have decided to start my OWN organization: The Anti-Hamster Liberation Front. We will be up and running soon and I will inform you of our website. Do pay us a visit when you can. We thank you kindly. Now, I've received this one before, but when I tried to respond the site had already been yanked by its ISP for spamming; if they send me another invitation, I'll submit Che Hamstera: Dear Candidate, You were recently selected by The Office of the Managing Director for a free listing on The International Executive Guild's Who's Who CD-ROM. Our Researchers gather information from many recognized sources, including professional associations and societies, trade organizations, newspaper and magazine articles, professional reference publications, web presence, and referrals from existing members. As a highly respected professional in your field of expertise, we believe your contributions merit very serious consideration for inclusion on The International Executive Guild's Who's Who CD-ROM. To maintain the level of accuracy, we ask you to click on the web address highlighted below and fill out the brief bit of information required for inclusion. There is no cost or obligation to be listed on The International Executive Guild's Who's Who CD-ROM. For registration, please visit: <snip> My Sincere Thanks, Lorraine A. Michaels Jason wrote, upon learning he wasn't voted in for membership (12/99): Dear Hamster Liberation Front, Dear Jason, First of all, let me explain to you that our members are very selective when they choose new members. Your application was one of 15 submitted in a 10-day period; of those 15, only 1 person was selected for membership. There is no shame in being denied membership to the HLF--we've had good-standing members who have re-submitted applications under a pseudonym and found themselves having trouble generating enough votes to "gain" membership. Second, let me assure you the vote in your case was close; perhaps if you had not been #6 in the list and our members were not weary of reading applications at the time, you might have had better luck. This is why we have indefinitely suspended the acceptance of applications to our organization--it is not fair to those who would be members and, yet, come upon a jaded and despondent voting membership. Third and finally, the HLF has its own plans for the Y2k "bug"--you may have read our "Y2k Compliancy Statement" linked to from our main page--and we do not fear any disruptions in our activities related to the turn of computerized clocks to the year 2000. Thank you, however, for the threat. We received this message as a 'bcc'; it was sent to a bunch of edh's friends (12/99): As those of you who know me are aware my job concerns counter-terrorism. I've recently been tasked with the study and trending of an emerging organization. While as yet, this group appears to pose no immediate threat, it's spread and method of operation indicate a disturbing trend toward a new brand of terror. Sources so far reveal that this movement is funded by off-shore interests of several loosely collaborative groups whose main goal is introducing a new terrorist infrastructure in the United States. Their methodology is alarming in that it identifies and subverts the infrastructure of existing hate and fringe groups, as well as forming new ones centered around pockets of social unrest. Unbeknownst to these individual groups and organizations is that they are being manipulated, having their interests subtly aligned according to the dictates of a core-group of rodents whose goal it is to spread terror across the United States in the coming years. Their influence and reach is being spread exponentially through the use of the internet. Below I've included a link to their web site. I urge you to familiarize yourself with this organization and it's mode of operation. Please forward this to as many of your friends as you can, as I believe the most effective way to counter this threat is by exposing it to the harsh light of day and rational examination. I would appreciate any information anyone may have of this group's activities or continued spread and hopefully we can use their own subversion of this medium to our advantage. http://redrival.com/hlf/ My response was to email all of his friends, agree that the HLF was a scary group, and suggest they all visit the site often to keep tabs on us, er, I mean, them. A transcript of emails between gair & Thomas Gramley (12/99): > > >We regret to inform you
that you were not voted in as a member of the > > Just what exactly are
you saying here? Do you think that I'm not good >There was never any doubt as to
your sincerity; indeed, we know you are I see that I have not much of a
chance in becoming a perminant member. After two of our members (jon & hammy) went to Oregon for an excursion, we received the following message (1/00): hello chaps, We are pleased that our operatives were able to free you before more harm befell you. Thank you for the update; when you return to England, please feel free to contact our outpost in Yorkshire, just so we know you weren't abducted on your trans-Atlantic voyage. In an email titled "Books," Dale wrote (1/00): > Suggestions please...... Well, you may have noticed that we are not the Psychic Hotline (although some people may have called us the Psycho Hotline, but that's another topic altogether), so it would be a little more helpful if you gave us an idea of what you enjoy. HOWEVER, not knowing anything about a topic has not stopped us yet from talking about it, so here goes: Some of my favorite books (that I've actually read) are: War and Peace by Tolstoy: I really enjoyed this book. Sure, it takes some getting used to in order to keep track of the characters (I took notes on the inside of the cover), but it's a really cool story. Don Quixote by Cervantes: Definitely worth your time; funny as all get-out. Les Miserables by Victor Hugo: The recent movie with Liam Neeson was good, but it was NOTHING compared to the novel. The Gormenghast Trilogy by Mervyn Peake: The first book in the trilogy, Titus Groan, is the best of the 3. Mix Dickens and Tolkein in a blender and add a dash of Picasso in for good measure. Really, it's a story of a family that will make you appreciate your own a little more. This is a difficult book to get into and it gets rather tedious at times, but it's worth the effort. The Complete Poems of Stephen Crane: My favorite poet; from the author who brought you The Red Badge of Courage, the poems are better than you remember the novel to be (you only dislike the novel because your high school teachers mooned over it so much). Tao Te Ching: I hand-copied this book twice because I couldn't find a copy of it to purchase and actually wore out the first copy I made. No matter how many times you return to this book of wisdom, you'll learn something new. The Plague by Albert Camus: A bit dry, but it's the genre. My favorite character is the "author" who works on writing the perfect opening sentence to his book. . for years. (The idea is that if he gets the PERFECT opening line, the rest of the book will write itself.) To Your Scattered Bodies Go by Philip Jose Farmer: Had to throw a sci-fi (sort of) in here. The ultimate social experiment & the start of a series. The first book, as usual, is the best. Hope this helps. Let us know if you need any more assistance. (We actually wrote back & forth several times, discussing various books and their merits! This is a VERY cool part of running a website!) Visit Fan Mail Page 1-2-3-4-5-6
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