PLEASE NOTE: The Hamster Liberation Front has suspended the acceptance of new applications indefinitely. We have received 
too many frivolous applications in recent weeks and the administration of admissions is taking resources away from our 
core causes. If you believe you truly deserve to be a member, you may send us a 350-word thesis on the reasons you should 
be included; if you prove your maturity, intelligence, sense of humour, and general worthiness in that thesis, you will 
be considered for membership. If you don't prove the above-listed qualities, you will be summarily dismissed and may be 
the recipient of a special "re-education course" delivered by our regional squads. You have been warned.

Still think you've got what it takes? Send your 350-word (no more & no less--we will be counting) thesis to us.

All applicants were previously required to fill out the following application. Please answer all questions completely and 
honestly. At the end of the application was the submission button; applicants clicked it to submit to us, er, submit the 
application to us. Yeah. That's it.

BTW--if you're going to submit an application to us, make sure your server doesn't bounce our messages to you back to us; 
that sort of thing makes it really hard to be an upstanding member or the glorious HLF. (Even if we accept your 
application, we can't induct you as a member if we can't contact you.)

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Your Name
Your Age
Your Email Address

1. In 1000 characters or less, describe an act which you recently performed that aided the liberation of household 
   rodential friends.
2. Have you ever set a mousetrap? If so, explain the circumstances and results. Include diagrams.
3. If you were a rodent, what kind of rodent would you be? Explain your answer.
4. Looking directly at the bright sun makes you (choose one):
   * I would not look directly at the bright sun.
   * Want to run around in your underwear screaming obscenities at neighbors.
   * Suspicious.
   * Weep.
   * Dance.
5. To what lengths would you go to liberate hamsters? Include personal references, affidavits, and notarized statements 
   from your third grade teacher.
6. How much money can you contribute to HLF coffers?
7. Would you ever wear black socks and shorts together? Explain why or why not.
8. Do you think it's weird for a grown man to sleep with a teddy bear? Do you have something against my teddy bear? Has 
   my teddy bear ever given you cause to be prejudiced against it?
9. Have you ever eaten a Sea Monkey sandwich? Would ketchup be appropriate with such a snack?
10. What contributions (aside from your weekly dues) can you make to the HLF to increase its status as "the world's 
   premiere terrorist organization?"
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